Tomorrow I go to a meeting of the full Commitment Taskforce of the Chief Justice’s Commission on Mental Health Law Reform. I have been to a number of these and a number of sub-committee meetings and I have learned to deal with the dread that comes over me when I contemplate entering that room.
But I have to wonder, what is it that makes it acceptable to some members of this taskforce to act as if I and people like me are not full citizens, heck, not full people? What is it that makes it acceptable to one member of this taskforce to make faces whenever I or another psychiatric survivor says something s/he disagrees with? What is it that could possibly motivate another member of this taskforce to say to another survivor (reportedly) that s/he did not see what the big deal was about rapes in psychiatric hospitals since rapes happen outside of psychiatric hospitals also? What is it that makes it acceptable for one member of this taskforce to glare and posture so angrily when disagreed with that I make sure never to sit near him/her?
Why do derogatory terms for psychiatric patients come into a discussion in which psychiatric survivors are present in the room? What makes that okay? Why does one member of the group feel free to make a personal criticism of a psychiatric survivor in front of a reporter?
What would it take, what would it cost some of the members of this taskforce to see us as real people like themselves, with real feelings, with self-respect, with passion for our beliefs? Would it make it too hard for them to do their jobs? Would it make them too uncomfortable in the rest of their lives? Are they afraid our realness will get under their skin?
No answers here, just questions.
July 16, 2007 at 11:10 pm
“what is it that makes it acceptable to some members of this taskforce to act as if I and people like me are not full citizens, heck, not full people?”
Their anosognosia does.
“What is it that makes it acceptable to one member of this taskforce to make faces whenever I or another psychiatric survivor says something s/he disagrees with?”
Nothing makes it acceptable. I say let her eat cake, chocolate cake and lots of it. If she doesn’t want it, we can get a court order to force it on her.
“What is it that could possibly motivate another member of this taskforce to say to another survivor (reportedly) that s/he did not see what the big deal was about rapes in psychiatric hospitals since rapes happen outside of psychiatric hospitals also?”
Indifference- the most insidious form of human evil.
“What is it that makes it acceptable for one member of this taskforce to glare and posture so angrily when disagreed with that I make sure never to sit near him/her?”
Maybe he/she is not taking his/her meds- better start a commitment hearing.
“Why do derogatory terms for psychiatric patients come into a discussion in which psychiatric survivors are present in the room?”
Because if they had any real understanding or compassion for those who suffer with mental illness, their power-trip and coercion would need to come to a grinding halt. What would they do without that?What else would feed their narcissism so completely?
“Why does one member of the group feel free to make a personal criticism of a psychiatric survivor in front of a reporter?”
Maybe, because reporters love sensationalism and controversy even when they’re not overtly attracted to human tragedies. I’m sure these people know how to play to their audience.
“What would it take, what would it cost some of the members of this taskforce to see us as real people like themselves, with real feelings, with self-respect, with passion for our beliefs?”
Nothing short of a taste of their own medicine, the full treatment- no mercy.
“Would it make it too hard for them to do their jobs?”
Yes, at least too difficult to continue doing their jobs in the same way, because compassion is such a bummer when you’re trying to control others.
“Would it make them too uncomfortable in the rest of their lives?”
Yeah, I suspect it would shatter their little bubble-world if they were to “allow” us in or make a real connection. It would be the end of the world as they control it.
“Are they afraid our realness will get under their skin?”
Skin? You mean scales, don’t you?
“No answers here, just questions.”
Oops, my bad…
When you walk in there tomorrow, know that your community is with you- behind you and beside you all the way.
July 17, 2007 at 5:21 am
great, powerful questions, hymes, and great answers, memory artist.
power is a terribly insidious force. know that the persons who disrespect you are afraid of you. know that they are weak and they need to humiliate you to feel strong. know that you have the upper hand, always, because you are not getting anything for yourself out of this, you are not power-tripping. your empowerment comes from advocacy and dedication to others.
when they make faces or make you feel like you are subhuman, if you can, give them a smile. maybe one day they’ll realize the resilience, passion, and strength that’s behind that smile. maybe one day that smile will save their or someone else’s life.
civil rights were not won in this country by belittling others. they were won but sitting tight and not giving in. you’re doing the work of the righteous, hymes.
good luck. as the memory artist says, we are with you.
July 17, 2007 at 3:34 pm
I was thinking the TAC and forced psychiatry kind of people is a cult or religion, and you can’t really fight a religion with logic and science. Without their religion they would have no purpose in life, no one to deprive pleasure from, so they in no way can afford to give it up.
July 17, 2007 at 5:15 pm
boy can i relate. thank you for clarifying how i and so many others feel. I am adding a link to your site in my blogroll today!
July 17, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Thanks all! I survived. Too tired to say much about it, but I loved your answers memoryartist
, AMA, you were right on track and timely in reminding me to keep a smile on my face while I confronted them, freaks them out every time, and I have to say, I’m more myself and more comfortable being polite in my defiance than not…and mark, you have a good point about logic not getting through to some of these folks, a few of whom I really do get the feeling have “drunk the kool-aid”. Denise, thanks! I will check out your blog.
July 17, 2007 at 10:54 pm
Yes. They are afraid the realness will get under their skin. Focus.
July 17, 2007 at 11:05 pm
It took a while, but I did focus. I was lucky to have another survivor attend the meeting and that helped a lot. I think if I get any realer I will get under my own skin though….:).
My reward for going to the meeting? I found out afterwards that I passed my kidney bloodwork keeping me off dialysis for another month. Yay! I am a ridiculously compliant kidney/medical patient
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July 18, 2007 at 7:14 am
All I can say is you are in a better place than I am. I could not tolerate being in such a room identified as “consumer.” I am a chicken shit. I have allowed them to make me believe their lies on some level. I do not feel like their equals. The only way I worked in social services with the mentally ill for so many years was by being one of “them,” the health care providers. I knew better and my patients sensed better, but I was nonetheless living a lie and I still don’t know if I can do otherwise.
I’m taking a Peer Support Specialist Training course soon. I will be certified as a Peer Specialist. I’m wondering if I’ll ever be able to stand myself enough to use it openly in front of all the normies to see? I do believe I’m getting there. This world full of proud survivors is slowly healing me.
thank you for sharing, hymes.
July 18, 2007 at 9:24 am
I didn’t read your last comment before posting mine. Congratulations on staying healthy. You’ve told me before that you live with a careful diet. It’s so worth it–it makes a difference in my life too.
Here’s to years and years off dialysis. You so deserve that.
July 18, 2007 at 11:58 pm
Alison, that is wonderful news, what will you do for the month free of dialysis? i wish you the best and hope you go do something good for every day you are not in dialysis. Like ice cream, or whatever as a daily celebration of you.
July 19, 2007 at 12:11 am
No ice cream if I want to stay off dialysis (:. But I was never a big ice cream person so that’s okay. I plan to get in the pool more and keep driving psychiatrists and forced treatment advocates over the edge, I hope to have several of them in therapy by Christmas…..:)
July 19, 2007 at 12:22 am
“I hope to have several of them in therapy by Christmas…..:)
LOL!!! You know what though? I think you’d need to get a court order to put them in therapy.
July 19, 2007 at 12:30 am
Nah, they will just pay out of pocket and go out of state so no one knows……:). Which means you, the taxpayers and insurance premium payers, won’t have to pay for it, so it’s a win win!
July 19, 2007 at 10:48 am
haha ive driven psychiatrists crazy for the last 2 years listening to me ‘think outside of the box’ that i actually offered one my cell phone as in, “here keep this and send me on a trip somewhere so i wont keep bothering you with [challenging] ideas”. One admitted to appreciating the out of box ideas of mine [as in psych meds dont really work]. anyway every time you speak, remember even if they have poker faces on, they are hearing your words.
July 19, 2007 at 8:00 pm
You guys KICK ASS!!!!
Keep up the great work and fight! It’s not in vain! It’s the only voice many have!
It’s a fight for hearts, souls, and minds! One at a time!
“though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil!!”
July 19, 2007 at 8:02 pm
Thank you Tom, I needed that in my post-meeting stress out. I’m not quitting, although I’m sure they wish I would
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May 8, 2008 at 8:49 am
[...] she reluctantly [slowly, unsurely] uses the word “Disabled” and her reasons for it. gives us a Hymes asks us a series of questions around how she is treated as a person with a psychiatric [...]