Twice now in the last few months different people have said to me that they can not wish that I get a kidney transplant soon. One person said she can’t wish it because she thought it would be wishing for someone else to die soon, another said very oddly that she hoped no young man would have to die for me to get a kidney. (I have no idea where she got the impression that men are more often donors than women nor the incorrect information that someone my age would be given the kidney of a young man as under a certain age it would go to another young person under UNOS rules.)
These statements were hurtful. It was hard for me to decide to put myself on the transplant list in the first place, but I did so knowing that no one would die BECAUSE I am on the transplant list. Reality test folks, people die. Some of the people who die have expressed a wish to donate their organs after death. If their family respects their wishes and if their organs can be used (which is in fact very rare, about 1% of all deaths in the U.S.), then one or more folks who are on the UNOS lists for organ transplants will get an organ and live longer and healthier because of the wonderful gift by the person who died who was able and willing to think past his or her own life to his or her death and decide he or she wanted to try and leave a chance at life for someone else when he or she was done with his or her body.
No one will die sooner or later than their time because I am on the transplant list. If I were to go off of it, the same people would die for the same reasons, the only difference would be that I would die years earlier than I may have the chance to live if I receive a donated kidney.
So if you do not understand how organ donation works, that’s fine, get educated or don’t, that is your choice, but stop with the ignorant and hurtful comments in my direction that imply I would not make Death take a holiday if it were within my power, because, you know, I would.
June 24, 2008 at 1:43 am
I am so sorry people feel free to make these sorts of statements to you, especially considering some of us argue with you all the time about the fact the you say you would never accept a kidney from a live donor that wished to give you one, because you don’t want anyone else to risk their life for you. And I am sure there are compatible people who would offer and want to do that for you. You deserve to live, and yes, there are people who have made the choice to offer their organs upon their death and families who choose to help that way so thats others can live.
I don’t know what this sort of thing is about. Probably some strange sort of projection.
June 24, 2008 at 2:30 pm
I hope you get a kidney soon and I hope you can find a competent surgeon to do the transplant.
My prayers and thoughts are with you.
June 24, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Hymes,
People are absolute bleeping morons to make those remarks to you. I am sorry you have deal with that.
I completely echo Tom’s remarks.
AA